


The Many Awkward Adventures of Jedediah and Octavius

by WolfMeister



Category: Night at the Museum (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Human AU, I felt like making more fanfic, JEDTAVIUS, K-Rah and the Boyz, Larry is polyamourous, M/M, Merenkahre is abusive, Museum Dads, Rexy is a dog, Secret Relationship, Someone is gonna die, Trixie is a dog, but only to Kah, idk - Freeform, tablet guardians
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-12
Updated: 2015-10-23
Packaged: 2018-04-20 08:53:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4781309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfMeister/pseuds/WolfMeister
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jedediah doesn't want people to know that he isn't straight, but he can't help loving on Octavius. This causes problems in their relationship.</p><p>Temporary hiatus sorry. School.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In Which There is a Chance Encounter and a Date

When Jedediah enters the local coffee shop, The Roasted Haven, a little girl nearly runs into him. She skids to a halt before running face first into his legs.

“Whoa,” Jed gasps, nearly falling over. A man not much older than him comes over, short black hair, glasses resting on the bridge of his nose.

“Julia!” he exclaims, sweeping the girl up into his arms. “I’m sorry about that,” he apologizes, looking at the Texan. “My daughter is very energetic.” Jedediah laughs and gives the man a brilliant smile, causing the other man to blush slightly. “My name’s Octavius.” Wow, he’s beautiful, Octavius thinks.

“Name’s Jedediah,” Jed states, still smiling. “Nice ta meet ya, Octy.”

“That’s a silly nickname! Octy!” Julia says, smiling. “You can put me down now, Daddy.” Octavius sets her down and she walks over to what he assumes is their table. A laptop set upon it with papers strewn across the table.

“Sorry to bother you.” Octavius walks away and sits across from Julia, starting to type something on his computer. Jedediah walks over to the counter. The barista smiles kindly at him. Jedediah looks at the nametag, realizing that it isn’t Larry manning the cashier like usual. It reads Brandon. 

“What would you like?” Brandon wonders. Jedediah taps his chin before ordering.

“I’ll have a small, white chocolate mocha, please,” he orders, then pays for the drink. Brandon gives him his change then tells Larry what he ordered. Larry goes to make the coffee. Jedediah waits for his coffee before sitting down at a table close by Octavius’s. Once he does sit down, Julia immediately begins to talk to the Texan.

“Sorry about almost running into you,” she states sheepishly. Jedediah gives her a warm smile and pats her on the head.

“No problemo, darlin’. You didn’t actually run into me,” Jed responds. Julia smiles and lets out a sigh of relief. “What’s your daddy workin’ on?” he wonders, glancing over to the Italian. Julia looks over at him too.

“Hmm, I don’t know actually. Hey, Daddy,” Octavius looks up from his laptop. “What are you working on? Jeddy wants to know.” Jed stifles a laugh once he hears his new nickname. Octavius clearly thought it was amusing as well, having to take a moment to answer the question.

“I’m working on some paperwork for my job,” he replies. “The atmosphere here helps me concentrate. As well as the caffeine.” Octavius points at his nearly empty cup of coffee. The bell chimes, signaling another person entering The Roasted Haven. Automatically, Jedediah looks at the door.

“Hey, Ahk!” Larry and Jed greet in sync. Ahkmenrah waves at them. Octavius raises an eyebrow. 

“How do you know him?” Octavius wonders.

“Well, we’re both regulars. There’s a couple o’ others too,” the Texan explains. “You should come here more often, everyone is real nice and friendly.” 

“Yeah! I like it here Daddy! And Jeddy is really nice,” Julia chimes in. Octavius ruffles her hair and smiles. “They also have really good food.”

“Lesley would love to hear that!” Larry suddenly shouts as a response to Julia’s comment.

“Why do you call him by his first name suddenly?” Ahkmenrah asks Larry, voice considerable quieter than Larry’s was. He’s leaning against the counter, having been chatting with the barista. Larry shrugs and they continue their conversation.

“Who’s Lesley?” Octavius wonders.

“The owner o’ the place. Usually there’s another barista, Attila. He only makes tea though,” Jedediah informs. “Also Ahkmenrah plans on asking Larry out today,” he whispers, leaning forward. Julia’s eyes light up, and she nearly jumps out of her chair.

“Really?” Octavius mutters. “I hope he isn’t rejected.”

“Daddy, you like boys too, right?” Julia asks. Jed lifts his eyebrows and looks at the man across from him. Octavius clears his throat, face turning bright red. He opens his mouth, then closes it.

“Well, technically I like men, but, yes,” he finally responds. Just as Jedediah is about to respond, he catches a bit of conversation from over by the counter.

“I mean, I guess what I want to say is,” Ahkmenrah is saying. Jedediah holds his index finger to his lips, then points at Ahk. Octavius looks over at them as well. “Do you, perhaps, uh, w-want to, umm, go out for dinner t-tonight?” Larry’s jaw drops. Ahk’s fingers are twitching slightly.

“…I would love to,” Larry answers after an uncomfortable silence. Ahkmenrah lets out a sigh of relief, his shoulders visibly relaxing. “Where will we be going? Is 7 o’clock okay?” Ahkmenrah nods in agreement to the said time.

“That’s a surprise,” Ahk adds. “Don’t worry, I’ll pick you up. I know where you live.” Larry’s eyes widen in confusion.

“I, uh, I never told you where I live.” Ahkmenrah laughs.

“I’m joking, Larry! I don’t actually know where you live, which I probably should know since I’m going to pick you up.”

“That was a little dark, Ahk!” Jedediah tells the Egyptian. Octavius chuckles. Ahkmenrah looks back at the Texan and grins, giving him a thumbs-up. “Maybe next time ya might wanna say somethin’ less stalker-ish.”

~

“See ya fellas!” Jedediah says, waving at Larry and Ahk. “Hope yer date goes well! Bye Octavius, Julia. I gotta go meet up with my buddy, Amelia.” Jedediah stands from his table and walks toward the door.

“Wait!” Octavius calls out. Jedediah stops and turns around. Octavius is right in front of him. “I would like to spend more time with you, as in, well do you want to, perhaps, go out sometime? On a date?” Jedediah glances around, eyes wide.

“I’m ain’t, uh, queer,” he says, loud enough for other people in the cafe to hear him, Octavius looks crestfallen. Then he whispers back, “I would love ta, but I don’t want anyone ta know.”

“We’ll keep it a secret then.” Octavius winks at him and goes back to his table to gather his things. Jedediah follows him over. Octavius quickly writes something on a slip of paper and hands it to the Texan. “Come to this address whenever you feel like.”

“What?”

“Don’t worry, it’s just my house address,” Octavius murmurs. Jed takes it and leaves the cafe, but not before taking the slip of paper.

“Is Jeddy coming over to our house later?” Julia wonders. Octavius smiles at his daughter and nods.

“Hopefully,” he responds. “Farewell Larry, Brandon, Ahkmenrah.”

“Bye! Hope to see you again,” Larry replies.

“Bye!” the other two say. Julia waves at the men.


	2. In Which Larry Meets the Parents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry for the chapter title.

The next day at The Roasted Haven, Octavius walks in and immediately spots Jedediah. Julia runs up to the Texan and greets him with a hug.

“Howdy Julia!” Jedediah greets, returning the hug. He looks over at Octavius who quickly made his way over. “Heya, Octy.”

“Why didn’t you come over yesterday?” Julia asks. “Daddy was really disappointed.” Jedediah looks at Octavius.

“I was just assuming that you would, saying you seemed pretty, uh, keen to the idea,” Octavius states, shrugging.

“Well, I was, but then Amelia needed my help with somethin’ and it took quite a while.” Just then the door to the cafe opens and in walks Ahkmenrah and his family.

“Good morning Ahk!” Larry greets, swiftly followed by everyone else in the cafe. 

“Mother, Father, this is Larry Daley,” Ahk tells his parents, turning to face them. “He’s the one who I am dating now.” Merenkahre and Shepseheret walk over to the barista.

“I am Merenkahre and this is my wife Shepseheret,” Ahkmenrah’s father introduces to Larry.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Larry Daley, as Ahkmenrah said.” Larry holds out his hand. Merenkahre takes it and gives it a firm shake. Ahkmenrah and his brother take a seat close by to Jed and Octavius.

“How’d the date go?” Jedediah wonders.

“It was fantastic, Jedediah,” the Egyptian responds. “Oh, this is my brother Kahmunrah, I don’t think you’ve ever met him.”

“Nice to meet you Kah,” Jed greets.

“Hi Ahkmenrah, Kahmunrah, I’m Octavius.”

“Its good to see you again, Octavius,” Ahk says. Kahmunrah stares at Jedediah, a slightly hungry expression in his eyes. 

“This is Julia,” Octavius adds, motioning toward his daughter. Julia smiles and waves, having just taken a bite out of her sandwich.

“Hi Julia!” Ahk says cheerfully. Meanwhile Kah is blocking everybody out except for Jedediah. He leans over toward the Texan. Jed notices and shifts nervously in his chair, moving toward Octavius slightly. Ahkmenrah notices the tension between his brother and Jed. “Hey Kah,” he says gently. “Jedediah isn’t interested.”

“How do you know?” Kah asks his younger brother. “Would you like to go on a date with me Jedediah?” Jed’s eyes widen in surprise.

“I ain’t queer,” he automatically responds. Ahkmenrah shoots Kah a look that clearly says ‘I told you so.’

“Not like I can’t make you,” Kah mutters. A look of alarm passes across Jed’s face. “That is not how I wanted that to sound.” Merenkahre and Shepseheret walk over to their table.

“You haven’t been causing trouble, have you Kahmunrah?” Merenkahre asks, his voice lowering in pitch. Kahmunrah flinches and presses his back against the chair.

“No, of course not Father,” he replies in a quiet voice. Ahkmenrah looks at his brother with sympathy in his eyes.

“Speak louder,” Merenkahre demands. Kahmunrah repeats what he said, but louder as ordered.

“Treat him nicely, Merenkahre. He hasn’t done anything wrong,” Shepseheret tells her husband. Kahmunrah looks at his mother thankfully, letting out a soft sigh. “I am Shepseheret, and this is my husband Merenkahre,” she greets, switching her attention to the other two men and the young child.

“My name is Octavius and this is my daughter Julia,” the Italian man says.

“You’re really pretty,” Julia tells the woman. Shepseheret smiles down at her and sits across from Julia.

“Name’s Jedediah Smith. Lovely ta meet ya.”

“You know Ahkmen, I don’t particularly like Larry. I don’t think he’s good enough for my son,” Merenkahre complains. Kahmunrah looks away from his father. Everything about him just shows how dejected he feels.

“Father, even if you don’t like him, I love him and I have for a while. I don’t think that’s going to change,” Ahk defends. “And he’s much more interesting once you get to know him.”

“I thought he was a lovely man, very sweet,” Shep adds in. “Of course, this is your choice Ahkmen.” She pulls Kahmunrah closer and wraps an arm around him. Kah rests his head on her shoulder.

“Why doesn’t Father like me,” he whispers, low enough to make sure that Merenkahre doesn’t hear him. Jedediah overhears him.  
“Hey, Kahmunrah, sorry, I just ain’t into guys,” Jed murmurs. Kahmunrah grins at him. 

“No problem,” he replies, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Don’t worry about it, forget that I ever asked.” Jedediah sighs in relief. Octavius stands up and goes to order some tea. He wants to try some of Attila’s tea since he is here today.

“What would you like?” Brandon asks the Italian.

“A chai latte please,” Octavius orders, giving the cashier payment. As he waits for the chai latte, he starts a nice conversation with Brandon, and they chat for a while, slowly getting to know each other.

“I used to work at a museum, but I just couldn’t deal with all the people touching the exhibits, and I always came here afterward, so I thought, why not just work here?” Brandon tells Octavius. “I’ve had no reason to regret changing jobs.”

“I moved here not too long ago because my job required me to move. It was no problem, the only bad thing that came out of it was having to move Julia away from her friends,” Octavius states. Attila hands Octavius his chai latte. “Thank you, Attila.”

“Gosh dagnabit!” Jedediah shouts suddenly as his phone starts to play a pitchy song. “I told Amelia not to change my darn ringtone! And to The Cupids no less!” He quickly answers the phone and shouts at Amelia for changing the ringtone. “Wait, hold on, what?” Jed asks after listening to what Amelia had to say to him. “Yeah, I’ll be right there. Can I bring someone to help?” Jedediah hangs up and puts his phone back in his pocket. “Hey, Octy, I’m gonna need your help with something. That alright?” Octavius nods, then looks over at Julia.  
“What about Julia?”

“Oh, she can come with us. It’s nothin’ dangerous.”

“Come on Julia, we’re going to help Jedediah with something,” Octavius tells his daughter. Julia stands up and gives Shepseheret a hug.

“See ya later fellas!” Jedediah says to everyone else in the cafe. They leave the cafe. Merenkahre turns to Kahmunrah. Kah automatically leans more into his mother.

“You should choose someone better to date,” Merenkahre growls. Shepseheret sighs and rubs Kah’s shoulder. “A cowboy isn’t good enough.”

“Father, no one can decide who they fall in love with or think attractive,” Ahkmenrah states. Kahmunrah looks at his little brother with a confused expression. “Cut Kah some slack.” Merenkahre glares at his elder son for a moment before nodding and sipping his coffee. He really has no intention on cutting Kahmunrah slack.


	3. In Which Amelia Ships Things

The door opens into a spacious apartment, and Jed, Octavius, and Julia are greeted with loud, rather unpleasant music and an obviously frustrated redheaded woman.  
“Finally Diah! Took you long enough!” Amelia exclaims, arms folded across her chest. “Who’re you?” She looks at Octavius.

“I’m Octavius,” he replies, smiling kindly and pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “It’s lovely to meet you Amelia.” She narrows her eyes at him, then looks at Jedediah.

“Are you two dating?” she wonders. Octavius feels his face heat up. Jedediah looks flabbergasted.

“Am, you know better than anyone that I ain’t queer,” the Texan states. “Why would I be datin’ him?”

“I just thought that you two should be dating,” Amelia shrugs. Octavius clears his throat and looks down at the floor. “I assume though, that this here is Julia.”

“How did you know that?” Octavius wonders.

“Well, you are Octavius and Jedediah did mention that your daughter’s name is Julia. He talked about you quite a lot yesterday.”

“But he still didn’t come over,” Julia mutters. “You should come over to our house today, Jeddy!” Everyone looks over at the smiling little girl.

“As a date,” Amelia adds. Jedediah sighs.

“No Am, not a date. Who goes to someone’s house as a first date anyway? But I s’pose I’ll come over to your house tonight.”

“What did you want us to help you with?” Octavius wonders, ignoring the subject completely.

“Well, you see, the air conditioning ain’t working and I cannot deal with this heat,” Amelia says. “Jedediah usually gets it working again.”

“I’ll only try to fix it if you shut that gosh darn music off!” Jedediah complains. “I don’t even understand why you like The Cupids! They’re never in tune!”

“It ain’t like Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy is any better!”

“That is a quality song!”

“Hey, relax,” Octavius nearly shouts at them. “Let’s just figure out how to fix the AC.” Julia had long since ventured further into the apartment, sitting down on a couch. Jedediah immediately goes over to their AC, turns is off, and bangs on it a couple of times with his fist. He turns it back on.

“Well, that worked last time,” he mumbles. “What have you tried Am?”

“Every damn thing that I could find online. I banged it too.”

“I can’t stay to figure this out, Teddy needs my help with the cattle,” Jedediah states. He goes to his room and grabs his gloves and hat, quickly putting them on.

“Cattle?” Octavius asks.

“Yeah, I’m a ranch-hand for him. He’s real nice. Used to be in the army,” Jedediah explains.

“How’d he get out?”

“Got a nasty injury one day. Blew his left leg clean off,” Amelia tells the Italian.

“See ya later Octy!” Jed leaves the apartment, closing the door behind him.

“What do you do anyway?” Amelia asks Octavius as he takes a look at the broken AC.

“Daddy’s a newspaper editor,” Julia tells her before he can respond. “He said its so that he can work from home and still spend lots of time with me.”

“Hm. I’m a pilot for domestic flights,” Amelia tells them. “I got the week off though.” Julia stands up when her father backs away from the AC sighing and rubbing his eyes under the glasses.

“I don’t know how to start this,” he states. Julia nudges it with her finger and it turns on. Amelia and Octavius stare at her. “How?” Julia shrugs.

“I just poked it a little,” she says. Amelia is just staring, mouth slightly agape and not sure what to do.

~

The doorbell sounds throughout Octavius’s house. He quickly puts his book down and opens the door, greeted with a pair of familiar blue eyes.

“Jedediah, you actually came!” Octavius exclaims, pleasantly surprised. “Come on in.” He steps aside. Jed enters the spacious house.

“O’ course I came, partner.” The Texan looks around the living room. “Wow.”

“Hi Jeddy!” Julia says when she sees him.

“Your house is huge!”

“Oh, well, my parents are pretty rich and they wanted me to live in comfort,” Octavius explains. “Make yourself at home.” Jedediah pulls Octavius into a hug, surprising the Italian.

“I think we should just talk about each other more,” Jed suggests as Octavius wraps his arms around the cowman’s waist. They pull apart.

“Yes, I would like that. Would you like something to eat or drink?” Jedediah plops down on the couch next to Julia. He hums for a moment.

“Daddy’s food is really tasty!” Julia tells him. Jed smiles.

“Well, in that case, I think I’ll have some food.”

~

After a delicious meal and plenty of conversation, they decide to watch a movie. They decided on Zoolander for whatever reason. It was mostly Jedediah that did the choosing. Julia went to bed before they started the movie however, so she didn’t get to experience how hot Hansel is. Every time, without fail, Octavius quoted in sync “That’s Hansel. He’s so hot right now.” 

Jedediah still wonders why.

Near the end of the movie, Octavius has his arm draped over Jedediah’s shoulders and the Texan is snuggled up to Octavius, his head resting in the crook of the Italian’s neck. Jed slowly drifts off. Octavius looks at his peaceful face, the cowboy quiet for once. The Italian rests his head on Jed’s, falling asleep as well.  
~

Octavius and Jedediah are startled awake early the next morning by The Cupids. Jed immediately starts to cuss. They untangle themselves so the cowboy can get to his phone.

“Yeah Amelia?” Jed says, answering the phone. He stays quiet for a moment. “Oh, I fell asleep at Octy’s house. No! That ain’t why I gave him a nickname!” Octavius chuckles. “Nah, I’m sure Octavius wouldn’t let a guest leave hungry.” He turns to Octavius. “Right?”

“Of course not, love,” Octavius responds, kissing Jedediah’s cheek. Jed blushes. “What would you like for breakfast?”

“A flapjack? No, Am, I ain’t talkin’ to you right now. I’ll be back in a couple o’ hours.” Jedediah ends the call, putting his phone back down on the table.


	4. In Which There Are Certain Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty long considering my chapter sizes/lengths whatever you wanna call them

“Good evening Jedediah,” Sacagawea greets the Texan as he enters The Roasted Haven. Teddy looks over at him as her son, Jean-Baptiste, waves.

“Jedediah!” he exclaims. “Good to see you, lad!”

“Evenin’ Wea, Teddy. How are ya?” Jed responds walking over to them.

“Splendid!” Teddy responds. Wea smiles at her husband.

“We’re doing quite well. What about you?” 

“I’m doing great! Spent a nice night over at a friend’s house last night,” Jedediah tells them, just as Octavius walks in. “Speakin’ o’ which.” Octavius spots the blond man and walks toward him.

“Hello Jedediah,” he greets warmly, resisting the urge to kiss him.

“Evenin’ Octy. I was just talkin’ to Teddy, Wea, and Jean-Baptiste here about you,” Jed replies. “Where’s Julia?”

“Its lovely to meet you both,” Octavius says to the couple. “Over at a friend’s house, seeing as she made one today. His name is Nicky.”

“How old is she?” Sacagawea wonders.

“Julia is nine years old. Why?”

“I work at the local elementary school along with Shepseheret. Julia is in my class!” Wea tells him. “Your daughter is very friendly.”

“Yeah! She was really friendly and shared all her crayons without a second thought!” Jean-Baptiste adds.

“I was wonderin’ Octy, about Julia’s mom,” Jed mumbles. “What happened to her?” A dark look passes over Octavius’s face. “I mean, if ya ain’t comfortable tellin’ me then you don’t have ta!”

“No its quite alright Jedediah. It happened a couple of years ago,” Octavius reassures. “We were married for a few years before she found out that I’m homosexual. Turns out that she was – or still is – quite homophobic. She was convinced that I didn’t love her, which I did mind, and she left one day.”

“She just left her daughter?” Teddy asks incredulously.

“Yes. It was, well,” Octavius starts.

“Rude?” Jed finishes. The Italian chuckles and nods. “Geez. Well, you’re much better off without her.” Octavius wraps his arm across Jedediah’s shoulders and pulls him close. Wea attempts to stifle a giggle.

“It ain’t what its like!” Jed blushes, trying to explain to Wea. This just causes her to laugh even harder. Teddy joins in on the laughing.

“Lovely to see that my customers are enjoying themselves,” a voice says nearby. The four look in the direction of the voice.

“Howdy McPhee!” Jedediah greets. 

“Hello Smith. Do you know where Larry is?”

“He’s your employee, not mine,” Jed responds. McPhee shoots him a look. “Uh, no, I don’t know where Gigantor is. He might be on a date with Ahkmenrah.”

“He isn’t off the clock yet.” Jed shrugs, simultaneously showing McPhee that he has no clue where the barista could be and removing Octavius’s arm from his shoulders. Octavius walks over to the counter to actually order a drink, as well as talk to Brandon. He’s a very friendly man.

“Would you mind going on a blind date with someone?” Brandon asks Octavius after he orders another chai latte. Octavius quickly glances at Jedediah, who is laughing and talking with the older couple. He can’t cheat on Jedediah, but he also can’t say no. Plus, its not like he’s going to have to go another date with this unknown man.

“No, I wouldn’t mind at all,” Octavius replies. Brandon smiles.

“Wonderful! He’s a good friend of mine. He’s free tonight, how about you two meet each other over at the local Italian restaurant, Bocca Felice?”

“That sounds great!”

“Larry! Where have you been?” McPhee’s voice sounds over the chatter in the cafe. Everyone looks over at Larry who is frozen where’s he’s standing.

“Um, well, uh,” he stammers, not sure what to say. “Can I talk to you in private?” The owner of the Roasted Haven raises an eyebrow, and beckons for Larry to follow him into his office. Once seated Larry immediately holds up a hand and says, “Please don’t start yelling at me.”

“Give me a reason not to,” McPhee responds. “First you leave work for however long,” his voice is raising in pitch, “then I find out that you – wait, never mind that doesn’t give me any right to be mad. Not like we…” he trails off. “Anyway, where were you?”

“I went on a date during my break and lost track of time. It didn’t help that there was a lot of traffic as well,” Larry explains. “Wait, what did you find out?”

“Nothing, nothing. Now get back to work!” Larry nods and stands, leaving McPhee’s office.

“Maybe I should say something, talk to both Lesley and Ahk,” Larry mutters to himself. “Not like I can help this.”

“What are you talking to yourself about, Lawrence?” Teddy wonders. Larry smiles over at the older man.

“Just trying to figure out if I should tell someone about something,” he states. “Hello Jean.”

“Hi Mr. Daley! How’s Nicky?”

“He’s doing great! Nicky’s over at his mother’s house today. Has a friend over I heard,” the barista tells him.

“I’m assumin’ that Nicky’s friend is Julia, Octavius’s little girl,” Jed chimes in.

“It is indeed, though I didn’t know that Octavius is her father.”

“I am,” Octavius says, walking over to the group, “which reminds me that I need to go pick her up, though I’m not sure what the address is.” Larry holds up his index finger and quickly grabs a pen and napkin. He scribbles something on the napkin and hands it to Octavius.

“Here you go,” he says. “That’s Erica’s address.”

“Thank you,” Octavius responds, giving Larry a quick hug. “Well, I should be going now. Bye!” He kisses Jed on the cheek and leaves as a chorus of farewells greet him. The cowboy is standing, blushing. Larry goes back to work, and soon McPhee is out of his office. The barista immediately notices and says the shop owner’s name to get his attention. McPhee walks over to the counter.

“Yes?”

“Can I talk to you about something important? In like,” Larry checks his phone, “10 minutes?”

“Okay.” Teddy, Wea, and Jean-Baptiste stand from their table and go to leave, before saying farewells.

“You should probably get going too, Jedediah,” Teddy tells his ranch-hand. “I’m going to need you early in the morning tomorrow.” Jed nods and follows them out.

A little before 10 minutes have passed, Attila has gone home and Ahkmenrah arrives at the Roasted Haven. Larry smiles and his boyfriend.

“You said you wanted to talk Larry?” Ahk wonders, returning the smile. Larry nods.

“Yeah, I just wanted to tell you that I’m positive that I’m polyamorous. Huh, maybe that’s why my previous relationships didn’t work out so well,” Larry explains, very rushed. “And I wanted to know if you were okay with that because honestly, if you aren’t then I won’t do anything about it.” Ahk laughs.

“Well, I’m quite glad that you made sure if it was okay first!” the Egyptian states. McPhee emerges from his office and looks over at Ahkmenrah. “And yes Larry, I’m quite okay with this. Just as long as you still love me!” The barista sighs in relief.

“Now what’s this about?” McPhee questions. “The shop is closed.”

“Oh, Dr. McPhee, its okay. This is what I wanted to talk to you about,” Larry says quickly. “I mean technically we wouldn’t have anything to talk about if Ahk said no and--”

“What’s he going on about?” the shop owner asks Ahkmenrah and Larry continues talking.

“Larry is polyamorous,” Ahk tells him. McPhee raises an eyebrow.

“— So I guess what I’m trying to say is if you want to go on a date sometime?” McPhee smiles and holds in a chuckle.

“Took you long enough to say that,” he responds. “But yes, I would love that.” Larry grins and runs out from behind the counter, giving McPhee a huge hug, then pulling Ahkmenrah in to join.

“I love you both!” Larry exclaims.


	5. In Which Octavius Goes on His Blind Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octavius goes on his blind date, Jedediah finds out, he gets jealous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> originally i wasn't going to end the chapter like this at all. but it happened

The next night Octavius gets ready for his blind date, despite the growing guilt inside of him. He can’t just stand someone up. Especially someone that he’s never met. Oh dear, he’s definitely going to need to explain this to Jedediah later.

“Come on Julia. I’m going to go drop you off at Jedediah and Amelia’s for the evening,” Octavius tells his daughter once he is prepared.

“Okay Daddy!” Julia says, standing up from the chair and quickly packing a small bag with a few things.

~

Octavius arrives at Bocca Felice after dropping Julia off. Soon a handsome man arrives as well. He walks up to Octavius.

“Are you perhaps Octavius?” the man asks the Italian. Oh his eyes are absolutely beautiful.

“Y-yes I am,” Octavius responds. Oh no, he’s stuttering. Octavius’s blind date smiles.

“My name is Lancelot, though you can call me Lance. Lovely to meet you Octavius!” Lancelot takes Octavius’s hand leads him into the restaurant. “I heard quite a lot about you from Brandon. What I heard is the only reason why I decided to agree to this date.”

“Brandon seemed slightly desperate to set you up with me,” Octavius mutters. Lance laughs. Man, his laugh is gorgeous as well.

“Ah, well, he believes that I need to move on from Gwen, saying she did break-up with me for Arthur,” he says the last name with venom dripping from his voice. “But that’s in the past!” Octavius falls silent. He’s starting to feel really guilty. But they are both so attractive. What should he do?!

“You seem to have a lot on your mind,” Lance says, staring intently at the Italian. They take a seat; both are poured a glass of red wine. 

‘Oh, nothing, I’m just a bit tired,” Octavius lies. “So, how’s your day been?”

“Oh, crazy. First one of my friends decided it would be a great idea to show up at my house with a dog, who they cannot keep in their apartment, and asked me to take care of her. I agreed of course. Named her Trixie. She was quite a devil at first,” Lancelot rambles on.

~

After 30 minutes of talking, and eating, mostly pasta, there was a lot of pasta, Octavius gets a call.

“Oh, hold on, I have to take this,” Tavi tells Lance, standing up from the table. He walks outside and answers the phone. It’s Jedediah. Oh no. “Hello Jedediah.”

“Howdy partner!” Jed responds. “Where are ya? Julia said that you were goin’ on a date…?” Octavius clears his throat.  
“Well, she’s not wrong.” A noise is made on the Jedediah’s side of the phone.

“What?!” Octavius flinches from how hurt his boyfriend sounds. “Octy, why would you do that?” Jed’s voice considerably lowered in volume, and he sounds as if he might start crying.

“Jedediah, just listen—“ Octavius begins, being cut off by laughter. The Italian’s brows furrow in confusion. “Why are you laughing?”

“Your reaction! Priceless! I ain’t mad, hoss. This was bound ta happen with our relationship a secret an’ all. How ‘bout I drop of Julia later, maybe stay for a couple o’ hours as well?” Jedediah suggests. “To make up for this.” Octavius chuckles.

“Alright Jedediah, but I need to finish my date first,” he says. “Also, it sounds like you’re jealous.” Jed coughs.

“Tch! No way! Ol’ Jedediah don’t get jealous!” the cowboy exclaims defensively.

“Sure,” Octavius responds, smirking. “I’ll see you later, Jedediah.” Octavius goes back inside Bocca Felice. “Sorry about that,” Octavius apologizes to Lancelot, sitting back down in his seat. “Work,” Octavius explains, quickly making up some bullshit. Lance nods.

~

After the date, Octavius goes back and Jedediah is lounging on the couch watching a movie or something. Octavius smiles and sits down next to him.

“Jedediah, how did you get in?”

“Julia opened the garage. We went through there. She’s already asleep,” the cowboy responds, kissing him afterwards and pushing him back onto the couch. They break apart and Octavius smirks.

“I was right. You are jealous,” the Italian teases. Jed rolls his eyes, cheeks tinted pink.

“You are mine,” Jed whispers seductively. A shiver crawls across Octavius’s spine.

“Are you sure you aren’t mine?” he retaliates. Pushing Jedediah off of him, straddling his hips. The Texan’s breath hitches in his throat.

“Wow,” Jed breathes, right before Octavius presses their lips together. The Italian slips his tongue between Jedediah’s lips. Their tongues tangle together as Octavius grinds his hips against the Texan’s. Jed groans into Octavius’s mouth, bucking his own hips in time with Octavius. Jedediah runs his hands underneath Oct’s shirt, feeling his muscular torso.

“Daddy?” a quiet voice mutters from the other end of the room. Jed and Octavius quickly pull apart and look over at Julia.

“Shit,” Jedediah hisses under his breath.

“Yes Julia?” Octavius asks his daughter. “What is it?”

“Are you okay? I heard sounds from out here.” Oct and Jedediah share a glance. Good thing they didn’t go any further.

“We’re quite alright Julia,” Oct responds kindly. “You can go back to bed now.” Julia nods and heads back to her room. Octavius looks at Jedediah, whom he is still straddling. “Guess we can’t do much tonight then.” Jedediah laughs.

“Guess not. What a shame.”

“If this is what will happen every time I go on a date with someone that isn’t you, I should do that more often. Tonight was quite enjoyable,” Octavius teases. Jed’s face turns red.

“Aw, hush! Don’t ya go on any more dates! That ain’t very nice, considerin’ you do have a boyfriend,” Jed replies, playfully hitting Octavius’s arm. Octavius chuckles and gives Jedediah a quick peck on the lips before leading him to his bedroom.

“In any case, I think we should sleep in an actual bed then on the couch tonight.”

“I definitely agree.”


	6. In Which Someone Dies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> isn't this chapter title so not a spoiler? you don't learn who dies until the next chapter though. Also, what am i doing with my life? THERE'S A TUSKEGEE AIRMAN!!!! AND K-RAH AND THE BOYZ

One day at the Roasted Haven, Kahmunrah comes in, none of his family with him, which is strange, usually Ahkmenrah is with him. Though his friends, and bandmates, are with him.

“Good morning!” the baristas and Brandon greet. Kahmunrah waves at them and quickly orders a black coffee.

“Do any of you know if Jedediah will be here later?” Kah wonders, sitting down at the closest table to the counter. Once Ivan, Nippy, and Al receive their drinks, they sit down next to Kahmunrah.

“I think it depends on how busy he is today. He might have a lot to do as Teddy’s ranch-hand,” Larry explains. “Though I suppose, but later in the evening.”

“Thank you,” Kahmunrah smiles, taking a sip of coffee.

“No, the bass part doesn’t go with my part,” Al growls at Ivan, who, in return, glares back. Napoleon looks at Kah with an annoyed look on his face.

“Ils sont stupides,” the Frenchman mutters to Kah, rolling his eyes at their other bandmates. Kahmunrah nods, sighing.

“Ils sont ennuyeux aussi,” Kahmunrah adds. Nippy laughs.

“What’s so funny?” Al wonders, cutting Ivan off in the middle of a sentence. Ivan sighs angrily.

“As I was saying,” Ivan cuts in. “If you changed your part to a D minor, then it would sound much better.”

“And I told you that I ain’t gonna change my part!” Al retaliates. “Now,” he says, turning to Napoleon, “what’s so funny?”

“Nothing, Al. Just something Kah said,” Nippy replies, grinning. “Tu es tres bete.” Napoleon sips his coffee nonchalantly. The door opens to the cafe and in walks Amelia talking to someone new.

“Morning Amelia! Who have you brought with you?” Brandon wonders, being the first to notice the two enter.

“Daniel James Jr!” Amelia exclaims.

“You can call me Chappie though,” he says politely. “Nice to meet you.”

“He’s in the airforce,” Amelia whispers to Brandon, quickly ordering afterward. Chappie chuckles.

“There’s no reason to be secretive about it, Amelia!” Am shrugs. “Its not like I’m a celebrity or anything.” 

“That’s what I said!” a voice shouts. “I said that if you change it to a D minor it would work better!” Amelia looks over at K-Rah and the Boys. 

“Be quiet guys! This is a public place and you shouldn’t be shouting. Be nicer,” Amelia growls. Ivan immediately lowers the volume of his voice. “Thank you,” Amelia says, smiling. She takes Chappie’s hand and leads him to the table farthest from Kahmunrah’s.

“Amelia,” Kah says, catching the red-head’s attention. She looks over at the Egyptian. “Do you know if Jedediah will be here today?”

“Why?” Amelia questions, narrowing her eyes.

“I would like to know if he wants to go on a date with me,” Kahmunrah says nonchalantly, earning a surprised look from his bandmates. “Surely you cannot answer that question for him.” Amelia thinks about whether she should tell the truth to Kah. Jed and Octavius would make a much better couple.

“Yeah, Diah will be here sometime in the evening, like usual,” Amelia finally responds. Kahmunrah smiles. 

“Glad that I have a reason not to go home for a while then,” Kahmunrah mutters to himself. “I hate my father.”

“Father wouldn’t like to hear that,” Ahkmenrah states, walking into the cafe. Kah jumps and turns in his seat to look at his younger brother and releases a sigh when he realizes that its just him. “Why won’t you tell any of us, why?” Kahmunrah bites the inside of his cheek, not wanting to answer his brother, feeling like he won’t believe him. It wouldn’t result in anything good if his father finds out either. Ahkmenrah pulls up a chair and sits next to his older brother. “You can tell me you know.”

“I know, but that doesn’t mean I want to,” Kahmunrah replies.

“There ain’t no reason for you to be so cold to your little brother!” Amelia states. Kah growls.

“This doesn’t concern you.”

“It sure does! Ahkmenrah is my friend!”

“Amelia, please, just chill,” Ahk tells the red-head, holding his hands up. Amelia shrugs and turns back to Chappie, continuing their conversation. “You can tell me Kah.” The older brother walks out to the patio of the cafe. Ahkmenrah follows, knowing that Kahmunrah is going to tell him what is wrong, finally.

“Father hates me,” Kahmunrah states. Ahk rolls his eyes, already knowing that much. “And he…” Kah trails off. Instead of saying anything he rolls up his sleeves, revealing a variety of cuts and bruises. “He did this. Yesterday.” Ahkmenrah’s eyes widen. He sharply takes a breath, covering his mouth.

“How long?” Ahk manages to say as Kah rolls his sleeves down.

“Years. Please don’t tell Father that I told you.”

~

Later in the day, Jedediah does indeed come to the Roasted Haven. Kahmunrah notices and immediately greets him.

“Hello Jedediah, how are you this fine evening?”

“Great, actually! Thanks for askin’! How ‘bout you?” Jedediah responds cheerfully.

“You can get some really juicy gossip at a cafe,” Ahkmenrah whispers to Brandon and Larry.

“Oh yeah, a lot of it too,” Brandon adds.

“Jedediah,” Kah starts. “Would you like to go on a date with me?” Jed doesn’t say anything for a bit, actually looking like he’s considering it. “I won’t particularly mind if you don’t want to.”

~

Two masked people swiftly break into a large household. Plenty of things to steal probably. The younger one stuffs any expensive looking objects into a large black bag as the other searches deeper in the house, gun at the ready, silencer attached.

“Shit!” the older robber hisses as something crashes to the floor, shattering. A man quickly appears in the hallway. The robber points the gun at him, freaking out and shooting him, square in the chest. They run back to their partner in crime. “We got to get out!” The two criminals rush out of the house as sirens are heard in the distance.

~

“Even though I ain’t queer, I’ll give ya a chance Kah,” Jedediah tells the Egyptian. Amelia just stares dumbstruck at her roommate. Kahmunrah smiles. Best thing that’s happened all day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ils sont stupides = They are stupid.  
> Ils sont ennuyeux aussi = They are annoying(i think?) too  
> Tu es tres bete = You are very silly/dumb


	7. In Which They're Caught

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octavius and Jed are making out in the apartment and Amelia walks in

Octavius bursts into Jed and Amelia’s apartment the next month, after Merenkahre’s funeral service happened a week earlier (Kah wasn’t sad at all) and is greeted by an obnoxiously loud, “SAVE A HORSE, RIDE A COWBOY!”

“You went on a date?!” Octavius shouts over the music, spotting the Texan lounging on the couch, book in hand. Jedediah jumps and nearly drops his book. “With another man?! It would be completely understandable if it was a woman, but a man? Really? You said that the reason you didn’t want people to know about our relationship is because—“ Octavius is cut off as Jedediah quickly kisses him.

“I know what I said, Octy,” Jed states, pecking the Italian’s cheek. “Now why do ya think I went on a date in the first place?” Octavius opens his mouth, closing it immediately afterwards.

“Oh,” is all Octavius can say when he opens his mouth the second time. Jedediah bursts out laughing. Octavius’s face flushes red in embarrassment. “But I thought you didn’t want anyone to know that you aren’t straight.”

“Oh, yeah, I just said that I would give ‘im a chance, and tha’ don’t mean that I gotta go on another date,” Jed explains. “Probably just say that I was right ‘bout not bein’ queer.” Octavius rolls his eyes and sits down next to the Texan.

“I hate you sometimes,” Octavius mutters.

“And yet you still love me,” Jedediah jokes, smiling. Octavius stares at Jed. “Why ya starin’ at me like that?”

“Because you’re right,” Octavius responds, earning a confused look from Jedediah. “I do love you. That and your eyes are very blue.” Jed awkwardly chuckles as his face heats up. “Also, what is this song?”

“Save a horse, ride a cowboy!” Jed immediately responds. “And, uh, I-I love ya too, Octavius.” An amused glint appears in the Italian’s eye as he raises an eyebrow.

“Does that mean you want me to ride you?” Jedediah’s face turns a brilliant shade of red and he stutters uncontrollably. Octavius snickers, “But honestly Jedediah, I think you are the one that would do the riding.” Jedediah is speechless. Octavius places a quick kiss on Jed’s lips.

“I didn’t take ya as that type o’ person Octavius,” Jedediah finally responds.

“What type? A top?” Octavius asks with a teasing tone.

“That—actually – well – yeah,” Jedediah murmurs awkwardly. Octavius chuckles.

“You’re adorable,” he mutters.

“No I ain’t!” Jed says defensively.

“You really are.”

“No I –“ Octavius cuts his boyfriend off by pulling him into a passionate kiss. The Italian gently and slowly pushes Jedediah down on the couch, straddling him. Jedediah just dissolves into the kiss, grabbing Octavius’s head and deepening the kiss. Octavius nips at Jed’s lower lip, slipping his tongue into the Texan’s mouth once Jedediah slightly parts his lips. Jedediah runs his hands under Octavius’s shirt, feeling his toned torso. Octavius pulls away, removing his shirt completely. Jedediah sits up. He starts to suck and bite the Italian’s neck. Octavius groans softly, dragging Jedediah down on top of him. He tugs the cowboy’s shirt up, lightly tracing Jed’s abs. Jedediah squirms and laughs against Octavius’s neck.

“St-stop!” Jed gasps. “It tickles!” Octavius snickers.

“Really? I didn’t know that you’re ticklish,” Tavi states. He’s going to have fun with this info. He slides between Jed’s legs and brushes his lips against his abdomen. 

“Octy!” Jedediah whines, squirming some more. Octavius palms Jed’s semi-hard member through his jeans. Jedediah body goes rigid, his breathing turning erratic. “Fuck,” he breathes. Octavius pulls Jedediah into a bruising kiss after removing his shirt. The Italian grinds his hips against Jed’s, both men releasing a moan.

“What the hell,” Amelia says, walking into the room. “I thought you weren’t gay?” Jed and Octavius spring apart, scrambling to opposite sides of the couch.

“What in tarnation?!” Jedediah shouts. “Amelia! Why are you back so soon?”

“That doesn’t matter! Diah, you aren’t straight?”

“He’s really not,” Octavius mutters. Jed shoots him a dirty glare.

“Well, obviously, I ain’t straight, I’m bi,” Jedediah tells Amelia. “I didn’t know how you’d react to it, so I didn’ tell ya.” Amelia heavily rolls her eyes. “I mean, my family is sorta homophobic.”

“That don’t mean that I’m homophobic, Jedediah,” Amelia responds. “And you two are dating? Like I suggested? Like I always wanted?!” Jedediah sighs.

“We were datin’ before you said I should date ‘im!” Octavius chuckles, moving closer to Jed and draping his arm over him.

“And you went on a date with Kah yesterday,” Amelia states.

“Well, Octy went on a blind date with some guy named Lancelot! I thought I should get back at him for that,” Jedediah defends, causing both Amelia and Octavius to burst out laughing. “Why’re ya laughing?”

“Because you’re adorable,” Octavius answers. Jed lightly smack Octavius’s arm.

“I ain’t cute! I told ya that already!” Jed exclaims, throwing Amelia into a renewed fit of laughter. Octavius kisses his cheek.

“Yes you are.”

“So, uh, why were you two making out on the couch?” Amelia wonders. “Seemed to me like you were gonna go further.” She winks. Jedediah blushes.

“That ain’t your business!” the Texan nearly shouts. Octavius glances at Jed. 

“I’m just wondering. I mean you both are pretty hard,” Am states, glancing quickly at their laps. Jedediah’s face turns a shade redder while Octavius smirks, looking at Jed’s crotch as well. The Italian leans over to whisper in Jedediah’s ear.

“Do you want me to take care of that for you? In private?” Octavius places his hand on Jed’s thigh, slowly rubbing up and down. Jed’s face turns redder if even possible.

“Get a room.”


	8. In Which...Wait, Hold On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> little random thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 7.5

Octavius quickly leans over and whispers in Jed’s ear, “Wait, which door leads to your bedroom?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter is smutastic, prepare yourself

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is purgatory-dracorn


End file.
